Change Your Words, Change Your Life (Without Joining a Cult)

Welcome to Shrink Wrapped—where we unpack mental health like it’s an Amazon Prime delivery full of emotional baggage and questionable impulse buys.

Today’s episode is all about the absolute chaos gremlin that is your inner dialogue—and how your thoughts and words might be quietly running your life like a shady back-alley puppet master. You ever catch yourself thinking, “Ugh, I’m such an idiot,” just because you tripped over nothing or sent an email with one typo? Yeah, your brain's got jokes—and not the good kind.

But here’s the thing: thoughts aren’t facts, and that sarcastic little narrator in your head? It doesn’t get the final say. The language we use, especially with ourselves, shapes our reality more than we realize. So if your brain's been talking to you like a mean girl with a psychology degree, maybe it’s time to teach it some new lines.

We’re diving into how to challenge toxic self-talk, rewire old thought patterns, and basically become the director of your own mental script instead of letting your inner critic ad-lib every scene. Buckle up, because we’re about to brain-train like it’s CrossFit—but for your self-worth. Let's get into it.

Your brain is basically the world’s most powerful hype man—or its worst heckler. Every single day, it’s either pumping you up like a motivational speaker at a self-help seminar or dragging you down like that one passive-aggressive relative who thinks they’re just “being honest.” The kicker? You actually have control over which voice gets the mic.

Thoughts and words aren’t just empty noise; they’re the script for how you experience life. You ever notice how when you wake up already dreading the day, everything magically goes wrong? Spilled coffee. Traffic jams. Your favorite snack mysteriously missing from the office fridge. That’s because your brain is a confirmation-bias machine, cherry-picking the worst parts to validate the nonsense it already decided. Meanwhile, if you wake up thinking, Alright, let’s do this, suddenly things don’t seem so catastrophic. Even if you do spill your coffee, it’s just an excuse to get an even better one.

Now, let’s talk about language. The words you use—even just inside your own head—are like code for your mental operating system. Constantly saying “I can’t do this” or “I always screw up”? Congrats, your brain just made that your reality. But start flipping the script—“I’m figuring this out,” “I’m getting better at this,” “I am not, in fact, a human disaster”—and your brain starts believing it. No, this isn’t some woo-woo “speak it into existence” nonsense; it’s straight-up neuroscience.

The best part? You don’t have to stay stuck in the thought patterns of a pessimistic raccoon rummaging through the garbage of self-doubt. You can retrain your brain, like a dog that keeps stealing food off the counter but eventually learns that good things come when it stops being a little menace. With time, effort, and some intentional self-talk, you can shift your mindset from self-sabotage to self-powered badassery.

So, what’s it gonna be? Keep letting your inner heckler roast you like you’re the unwilling star of a Comedy Central special no one asked for? Or are you finally gonna grab the mic, clear your throat, and remind that gremlin who’s boss?

Because listen—your thoughts? They’re not just background noise. They’re the scriptwriters, directors, and casting agents of your life. And if your brain’s been casting you as “Anxious Wreck #2” or “Perpetually Unqualified Human,” maybe it’s time for a rewrite. Your inner monologue shouldn’t sound like a bad Yelp review of your entire existence.

The words you use—especially the ones you toss at yourself when no one’s listening—matter more than that overpriced latte you forgot to drink before it went cold. They shape your perception, your choices, and whether you feel like the main character or someone who accidentally wandered into someone else’s story.

And here’s the kicker: this isn’t about fake positivity or gaslighting yourself into pretending life is all sunshine and cupcakes. It’s about real rewiring. It’s saying, “Okay brain, I hear you panicking, but we’re not gonna spiral today—we’ve got things to do and a life to live.” It’s turning “I’m such a mess” into “I’m figuring it out,” and “I could never” into “Bet I will.”

Retraining your brain is like teaching a wild raccoon to do yoga—it’s weird, it’s clunky, but eventually, it chills out and stops knocking over your mental trash cans. And suddenly, you’re not just surviving—you’re thriving, sashaying through life like you just found the secret level no one else knew about.

So yeah, your mindset might not change overnight, but every time you catch yourself spiraling and choose a different thought? That’s a win. That’s you shifting from autopilot to intentional living. From chaos goblin to captain of your own damn ship.

Your brain is like an overcaffeinated radio DJ, constantly spinning tracks—some are motivational anthems, and others are just depressing ballads on repeat. The problem? A lot of the time, you don’t even realize you’re stuck listening to the worst playlist ever. That’s because thoughts, especially negative ones, become automatic, sneaking in like uninvited guests who trash your mental space and overstay their welcome.

Here’s the kicker: you are not your thoughts. You’re the one listening to them, which means you have the power to change the station. Negative thoughts? They’re just distorted reruns of your brain’s greatest anxieties, convincing you that failure is inevitable and happiness is a scam. But when you start recognizing them as thoughts—not objective truths—you can begin editing the script.

Now, positive thoughts aren’t about slapping on a fake smile and pretending life is all sunshine and free snacks. It’s about consciously flipping the narrative—choosing to focus on thoughts that build you up rather than tear you down. It’s the difference between your inner monologue saying, “I’m an absolute disaster” versus “I’m learning and improving”. One makes you want to curl into a burrito of despair; the other gives you a fighting chance at actually moving forward.

We've established that your brain can be a real jerk sometimes. It’s like that one toxic friend who only shows up to remind you of your failures and insecurities—except this friend lives in your head and has a 24/7 VIP pass to your thoughts. Negative self-talk is sneaky. It disguises itself as “truth” when it’s really just an overdramatic inner monologue auditioning for a role in your personal tragedy.

Here’s the thing: if you keep repeating lines like “I always mess things up” or “I’ll never succeed,” your brain starts treating them as facts instead of the self-sabotaging nonsense they are. It’s like letting an insecure, underqualified screenwriter dictate the entire plot of your life. Over time, these thoughts hardwire themselves into your mental script, influencing your actions, decisions, and self-worth.

But plot twist: you can rewrite the script. The first step is recognizing these thoughts for what they are—bad programming. Once you catch your brain slipping into “I suck at everything” mode, call it out. Would you let someone talk to your best friend like that? No? Then why let yourself get bullied by your own mind? Awareness is your power move—because once you see the pattern, you can start breaking it.

Alright, now that you’ve caught your inner critic red-handed, lurking in the shadows like a melodramatic gossip columnist with nothing but bad headlines, it’s time to drag that little gremlin into the courtroom of reality. Because if your brain is going to insist on running a full-blown smear campaign against you, the least you can do is demand receipts.

So next time your brain serves up a spicy little gem like, “You always screw everything up,” or “You’ll never be successful, Karen from middle school was right,” don’t just let it run wild. Throw on your metaphorical trench coat, light up your imaginary pipe, and go full Sherlock Holmes on that nonsense.

Ask:

• “Where’s the proof, Watson? What actual evidence do we have that I’m a complete failure? Because last I checked, I made coffee without setting anything on fire this morning, so…progress.”

• “Has this exact disaster scenario actually happened before, or is my anxiety just writing fanfic again?”

• “If my best friend said this about themselves, would I let it slide—or would I drag them lovingly but firmly out of their pity swamp and into the light of day with snacks and a pep talk?”

You wouldn’t let someone talk trash about your bestie without stepping in, so why are you letting your own brain talk trash about you? It’s time to hold that internal B.S. accountable like it just got subpoenaed.

And here's the thing: when you start poking holes in those automatic doom thoughts, they deflate faster than a dollar store balloon at a porcupine convention. Suddenly, “I’m a total mess” becomes “Okay, I had a moment, but I’m human and I’m learning.” That’s not delusion—that’s growth, baby.

Think of it like decluttering your mental space. You’re not just tossing out old, toxic thought patterns—you’re Marie Kondo-ing your damn soul. If the thought doesn’t spark growth, truth, or self-respect, thank it for its chaotic service and show it the door.

So the next time your inner critic pipes up with another dramatic reading of “Why You Suck: The Extended Cut,” don’t grab popcorn—grab your gavel. You’re the judge, the jury, and the editor-in-chief of your internal narrative now. Time to rewrite the script into something that doesn’t make you want to crawl under a weighted blanket and disappear.

Now that you’ve called out your brain’s nonsense and hit it with the hard evidence, it’s time to take it a step further—reprogramming the script entirely. Think of it like swapping out a garbage GPS that keeps yelling “YOU’RE LOST AND EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE” for one that calmly says, “Rerouting—learning in progress.”

Your inner dialogue has been running on outdated, self-sabotaging software, so let’s hit the refresh button. Instead of the defeatist “I can’t do this,” try something a little more constructive, like “I’ll try my best and learn from this experience. ”Translation: I might crash and burn a little, but hey, that’s part of the ride. Instead of “I always fail,” reframe it to “I’ve faced challenges before and grown stronger.” Because, let’s be real, you’ve probably survived way worse than whatever’s stressing you out right now. And instead of “I’m not good enough,” flip the script to “I am learning and improving every day.” Boom—instant mindset upgrade.

Here’s the thing: the words you feed your brain? They’re not just background noise—they’re the script of your entire damn movie. And if your internal narrator is stuck in “tragedy with no character arc” mode, then yeah, of course life’s gonna feel like an endless reel of spilled coffee, awkward emails, and existential dread.

But imagine if you switched that voice to something a little more uplifting—like Morgan Freeman narrating your resilience or Lizzo hyping you up in the mirror. Suddenly, that bad day isn’t a catastrophic failure—it’s just a juicy plot twist before your third-act glow-up. That awkward conversation? Character development. That time you totally botched something at work? Training montage. Cue the inspirational music and slow-motion montage of you learning, growing, and maybe crying a little, but in a powerful way.

Now don’t get it twisted—this isn’t about toxic positivity or slapping a glittery “good vibes only” sticker on a dumpster fire. We’re not here to gaslight ourselves into thinking everything’s fine when it’s clearly a hot mess. Positive reframing is about shifting the lens so you’re not automatically assuming you’re the villain in every story, or that one setback means you’re doomed forever.

It's about catching yourself when your brain starts screaming, “I’m such a failure,” and calmly responding, “Okay, drama queen—but what actually happened?” It’s learning to say, “That sucked, but I survived,” instead of, “Well, guess I’ll never recover from this mild inconvenience.”

Because if you’re gonna be stuck with your thoughts 24/7, they should at least be pulling their weight. You’re the one in charge. So why not turn your inner critic into your inner life coach? Or better yet, your inner hype squad—with pom-poms, confetti cannons, and the audacity to believe in your potential even on a Tuesday.

So yeah, life’s hard. But your mindset? That’s your power tool. Use it to build yourself up instead of constantly demo-ing your self-esteem. Rewrite the voiceover. Flip the script. And for the love of all that is mentally stable, stop letting your brain talk to you like a mean middle schooler on the internet.

Since we’ve exposed your brain’s bad habit of feeding you nonsense and swapped out the self-sabotaging script, it’s time for some next-level mind hacking: affirmations and gratitude. Yeah, yeah, I know—it sounds like the kind of thing you’d hear from a self-help guru wearing too many beaded bracelets (which I'm also guilty of- but who doesn't love a good bracelet??), just hear me out.

Your brain is like an impressionable intern—it believes whatever it hears enough times. So, if you’ve been telling yourself “I’m a failure” on repeat, guess what? Your brain is gonna nod along and start acting accordingly. But if you start feeding it lines like “I am capable and worthy” or “I can handle life’s chaos like a caffeinated superhero”, over time, it starts buying into that instead.

Now, the trick with affirmations isn’t to just say them once and expect an instant confidence glow-up. You’ve gotta repeat them consistently—morning, night, in the mirror, post-rejection email, before tackling your inbox that has 347 unread messages. At first, it might feel awkward, like you’re trying to sweet-talk yourself into a bad date, but trust the process. Over time, those words start to stick, and your brain starts shifting from “Everything is doomed” to “Maybe I actually got this.”

If affirmations are about what you tell yourself, gratitude is about what you focus on. Your brain loves to latch onto the negative—it’s basically a drama-obsessed goblin—but gratitude is the kryptonite to that nonsense. When you actively train yourself to notice the good, you start short-circuiting the negativity bias and rewiring your brain to see more of what’s going right.

So, here’s your new gratitude ritual: Every day, jot down three things you’re grateful for. Big, small, ridiculous—it all counts. Maybe it’s your dog, your favorite hoodie, or the fact that coffee exists. Reflect on them when life feels like a dumpster fire. Your brain needs reminders that not everything is a disaster. Make it a habit. The more you do it, the easier it becomes to notice the good without trying so hard.

Basically, between affirmations and gratitude, you’re out here running a full-scale reprogramming of your mental software. And the best part? You’re not faking positivity—you’re just finally giving your brain the memo that life isn’t all bad. So go ahead, brainwash yourself—this time, for good.

You’ve got affirmations and gratitude working their magic, now you get to kick it up a notch with visualization—a.k.a. the art of mentally rehearsing your inevitable domination of life. Visualization really just boils down to faking it in your head until you make it in real life.

Your brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s vividly imagined. (Seriously, science backs this up.) So, if you spend your time mentally replaying worst-case scenarios like a disaster-movie director, your brain takes notes and prepares for failure. But if you flip the script and start visualizing success, your brain starts creating new pathways that make confidence and competence feel second nature.

Here’s how to work this mental sorcery: See yourself crushing it. Whether it’s a big presentation, a nerve-wracking conversation, or just making it through Monday, visualize yourself handling it like an absolute boss. Feel the win. Don’t just see it—imagine how it feels to succeed. The pride, the relief, the smug satisfaction of proving your inner critic wrong. Your brain eats this up. Do it often. The more you practice, the more your brain rewires itself for confidence instead of catastrophizing. Basically, this is a mental cheat code. Athletes use it. CEOs use it. You should use it too.

But you've also got to cut the toxic noise- you have to limit the negative influences in your life. So let’s talk about the energy vampires in your life—the people, content, and environments that keep your brain stuck in a spiral of self-doubt and negativity. If you’re constantly surrounded by pessimists, doomscrolling through social media, and drowning in cynical news, guess what? Your mindset is going to reflect that.

Here’s how to clean up your mental environment: Audit your social circle. Are your friends building you up, or are they energy-draining gremlins? Choose wisely. Tame your media diet. If scrolling through social media makes you feel like a dumpster fire, unfollow, mute, or take a break. No one needs a steady feed of comparison-induced misery. Create a positive bubble. Surround yourself with people, books, podcasts, and content that actually inspire you instead of making you feel like a failure. Your brain is constantly absorbing whatever it’s exposed to—so if you want better thoughts, feed it better input. Garbage in, garbage out. Choose wisely.

Once you've purged the negativity leeches from your life, it's time to reprogram your brain like a pro hacker. How? Small, positive habits.

Look, transformation doesn’t happen overnight. You don’t wake up one day and suddenly radiate confidence like you’re the main character in a self-help movie. No, real change happens in the little things you do every single day.

Want to feel more confident? Start by giving yourself credit for literally anything. Got out of bed? Win. Sent an email you were dreading? Champion. Resisted the urge to self-sabotage via procrastination? Elite-tier behavior. Celebrate it all.

Want to be nicer to yourself? Stop talking to yourself like a bully. If your best friend messed up, would you call them a useless failure? No? Then don’t do it to yourself.

The magic of small habits is that they snowball. The more you reinforce them, the more your brain locks in those upgraded thought patterns.

When your brain is a non-stop circus of overthinking, self-doubt, and imaginary arguments you will never actually have, it’s time to bring in the big guns—mindfulness and meditation.

Before you roll your eyes, this isn’t about sitting cross-legged in a candle-lit room, levitating into enlightenment. It’s just about noticing your thoughts without getting dragged into their nonsense.

Deep breathing = an instant brain reboot. When your thoughts start spiraling, take a deep breath, hold it for a sec, then let it out slowly. Instant system reset.

Observe, don’t engage. Thoughts are like pop-up ads—most of them are useless distractions. Just because your brain throws out "I'm a failure" doesn’t mean you need to click on that nonsense. Acknowledge it, then move on.

Meditation isn’t about stopping thoughts; it’s about not letting them control you. Even five minutes a day can train your brain to chill out instead of catastrophizing every minor inconvenience.

Here’s the deal: retraining your brain is not a one-and-done situation. This isn’t some instant microwave transformation where you wake up tomorrow with Buddha-level wisdom and unwavering self-belief.

Changing your mental habits is like going to the gym for your brain—except instead of lifting weights, you’re lifting yourself out of your old thought patterns.

Frustrated that you’re not seeing instant results? Good. That means you’re human. Keep going anyway.

Made progress, then had a setback? Totally normal. Keep going anyway.

Feel like giving up? Too bad. Keep going anyway.

Because the only way to actually change is to keep showing up for yourself, even when it feels slow, even when it’s messy, even when your brain tells you nothing’s working.

One day, you’ll look back and realize—damn, you’re not the same person you used to be. And that’s the point.

Your brain really is like the DJ of your existence—except it’s been spinning the same depressing playlist since seventh grade, complete with every rejection, awkward moment, and imaginary failure it can dig up from the vault. It’s out here dropping emotional bangers like “You’re Not Good Enough (Remix)” and “Why Even Try, Vol. 4,” and you’re just…vibing to it? Babe. No.

If you let that mental tracklist run on autopilot, of course you’re going to feel like your life is a never-ending season of Worst-Case Scenario: The Series, complete with commercial breaks of self-doubt and passive-aggressive inner monologues. But plot twist—you’re not just the listener. You’re the producer, editor, and headliner. That’s right. You’ve got creative control.

So what do we do? We kick the sad DJ out. We call out those uninvited mental party crashers—“Oh, hey, intrusive thought telling me I’m a failure? You’re not on the guest list. Security!”

Then we start swapping those mental duds for something worth dancing to. Things like, “I’m figuring it out,” “I’ve survived 100% of my worst days so far,” or my personal favorite, “I am not available for that kind of negativity today, Susan.”

And look—we’re not here to slap glitter on a dumpster fire and call it healing. This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending your trauma smells like lavender and good vibes. It’s about doing the real work: catching your thoughts before they spiral, reframing them like the mental interior designer you are, and building habits that actually serve your damn well-being.

Think of gratitude like a daily vitamin for your mindset. Think of affirmations like reps at the gym for your confidence. Think of self-talk like a playlist—are you going to listen to empowering anthems, or let your brain shuffle through anxiety ballads on loop?

When you start choosing better thoughts—on purpose, over and over—you stop being a background character in your own emotional drama and start running the damn show. You stop surviving your mindset and start curating it.

So, grab the mic. Rewrite the script. Remix the soundtrack. Because your thoughts? They shape everything. And it’s about time they started working for you.

So, here’s your final takeaway: your brain is a powerful little drama machine, but it doesn’t have to be a chaotic one. You can actually train it—like a misbehaving puppy that keeps peeing on your confidence. With practice, compassion, and a solid dose of side-eye toward your unhelpful thoughts, you can shift from “self-sabotage station” to “main character energy.”

Remember, you’re not stuck with the default settings your brain downloaded during childhood or chaos. You get to upgrade. You get to change the script. You get to talk to yourself like someone who matters—because you do.

So go on, question the crap thoughts, reframe the narrative, and start feeding your brain something better than self-doubt smoothies. You deserve a mindset that works for you, not one that keeps you small, scared, or stuck.

You’re the author. You’re the narrator. You’re the whole damn plot twist.

Now go out there and write something brilliant.

And that’s a wrap on today’s brain rewiring adventure. If your thoughts start acting up again later, just remember—you’ve got the tools and the attitude to tell them to take a seat.

Thanks for pushing play on Shrink Wrapped, where we unpack the messy, marvelous, mildly chaotic world of mental health one unfiltered convo at a time. If you liked what you heard, go ahead and share it with someone whose brain could use a vibe check too; don't forget to subscribe, rate, review, hit the notification bell, and join us on the Oneil Counseling app (link is in the show notes). Catch you next week to talk about conflict resolution—same place, same sass, probably new existential crisis.